It is with great sadness and substance abuse that we must announce that after 12 years, Jerry Craib is leaving Bluejuice.
The magnitude of this event for Bluejuice can be expressed neatly in two words: “FUCKING FUCK”.
Jerry is the most talented keyboard player we’ve ever met (not to mention a shit-hot drummer, bass player, guitarist, and presumably sensual lover and efficient masturbator), and he is a huge part of the creative force behind the band. Have you ever heard what our band sounds like? It’s got keyboards all over it. That’s Jerry. Jerry Fucking Craib.
Not only that, but Jerry is the only member of Bluejuice who knows how all our equipment works, and where it’s supposed to plug into. “What’s a mono DI? Get me a drink”, is the level of knowledge that the rest of us can manage. Not Jerry Fucking Craib.
When operating a vehicle, Jerry displays a T-1000 level of single-mindedness and intensity. Indeed, in a Tarago race from Sydney to Melbourne against a liquid-alloy cyborg from the future, Jerry would win hands-down, with spare time for a cigarette and a game of online Yahtzee. That’s Jerry Fucking Craib for you.
And to cap it all off, Jerry has an excellent broad Australian accent that he can switch on and off in regional towns, which allows him to blend in, like an octopus. A Jerry Fucking Craib octopus.
Jerry is, and will remain the only member of Bluejuice whom a layman would not describe as “a total dick”. He’s generous to the point of personal sacrifice, tactful, and humble about his formidable musical talents. He can also be a stubborn fucking weirdo, but let’s not talk about that right now.
While touring, Jerry would often disappear for hours at a time, and nobody would know where he was. This period was known as “Jerry Time”, or “JT”. Now Jerry’s got all the JT in the world, and we wish him well in his new endeavours*.
Let’s hear it for Jerry Fucking Craib everybody.
We love you Jerry.
Jake, Stav and Jamie
*We also wish he gets bored and comes back to play with us again.